Thursday, September 30, 2010


Whenever I hear those well worn jokes about men with ‘man flu’, I slink off into my metaphorical corner – because I am totally WOEFUL when I’m sick.  I blame the distinct lack of sympathy I get around here… though I’d rather not get into a debate about cause and effect….

It’d just be nice if they stepped in and picked up the slack a bit in regard to the kitchen – the meals, and the cleaning up. But noone does. I wondered the other night (in between bouts of sneezing, and holding a tissue to my nose to catch the flow!) if I’d actually have to be dead before they thought to, say, clean up, stack the dishwasher.. do the washing up that never fits.  Without me having to stand there and give stage by stage instructions!

I suppose this all comes from this old fashioned division of labour we have in this house, which has it’s pluses and minuses, I can tell you……


I am feeling much better, although I’m still stuffed up a bit, and I was coughing a bit in the night… So I’m still going to take it carefully. 

On top of the whole cold and cottonwool head thing, my back was giving me grief, and so, after a day of sooking around on Tuesday, I rang to make a chiropractor appointment. Alas, he had gone on holidays for a week! Noooo! I could see his partner, but I’ve opted to wait till Wednesday next week when he gets back. And so I reached out for pharmaceutical help. Hello Voltaren my old friend.  Crazy thing is, it’s worked. It’s as if by easing the pain for a while, my brain gets distracted with other things, and then it forgets to instruct the back to go back into spasm again when the medication wears off.  Something like that anyway. So I’m warily optimistic, and just simply, so relieved.

The big POSITIVE was the Wednesday weigh-in.  After a couple of days of slobbing and sooking (and reaching for some comfort foods – damn my children for making choc caramel slice … I did cut it into mini pieces, surely some calories escaped!… ) I steeled myself for no change on the scales. (I’d have been disappointed with an increase, but no change, I could deal with, I thought.)

My god – 75! Given that I’d snuck on a couple of times since the Wednesday Week 1 (and changed my ticker scale to help my confidence), I had myself confused.  “Half a kilo… well, that’s a bonus!” I thought.  It wasn’t until I actually went to enter the weight in on my 12WBT stats page that I realised that I’d actually dropped 1.5 kg since Week 1 weigh in.  Bearing in mind that my scales, albeit digital, are only in 0.5kg increments, that’s still pretty bloody AMAZING.

Perhaps those couple of days of derailment (and lack of movement) will catch up with me for next week, but for now, it’s given me the impetus to get straight back on track with the eating…   I have to take my return to exercise a bit more carefully..  I went for a short, brisk walk yesterday afternoon (and just my knee niggled – which is just something else in my arsenal of body part issues..) But my back was ok. My calf was ok. My lung capacity is not yet normal, but getting there.

And I swear I’m going to keep away from the scales and the ticker thingy till next Wednesday.

By yesterday afternoon I felt ready to watch the Week 2 video, and catch up with the Live Feed video.

And to get my stupid head back in line in regard to the menu.

Last night I made the Beef and Broccolini stir fry recipe – only the supermarket didn’t have broccolini so I did beans, carrot and some capsicum instead.  (I still have the opinion of the nutritionist I consulted back 12 years ago echoing in my head -  about trying to include some ‘orange’ food ie. beta carotene? - in every meal – so I like to put some variety in my stir fries anyway.)

The kids somehow all disappeared to friends’ places last night, so it was just the two of us.  Normally I’d use more beef than that recipe, but I cut it down to about 250g – Himself has to reduce his iron intake anyway.  And I measured out exactly 1/3 cup myself for the basmati rice. Much, much less than I would normally have.

While he has been slightly bemused with all these new recipes, he is pretty happy with me starting to actually cook with chilli. And he really, really enjoyed that dish! And, so did I. Biggest challenge was stopping myself picking at what was left!

Tonight I’m doing the roast chicken, veggies and lime – and finally sourced some kaffir lime leaves this morning! (Neither Coles or Woollies had them this week, would you believe?!)

And after reading some other blogs about the spaghetti bol and lentils, it hit me that I just had the wrong psychological approach to it. All I have to do is NOT think of it as bolognaise, but as a totally different meal – ie. Spaghetti and Lentils  - and I can totally cope with it. 

I’m not a basket case at all, am I?  Well, I always knew my main issue with the weight was psychological, and to do with FOOD.

fatso As a final source of “inspiration” to get myself totally back on track – we got to see some proofs of photos from the 75km Coffs Coast Cycle Challenge that we did on our tandem the day before Week 1 kick off. The only photos of us? (which I’ve stolen screen captured) Apart from the one below, (stuffing my energy depleted face with a bacon and egg roll… hmmmm), just this godawful one of me.  Those rolls of fat! I might feel very athletic and sporty when I’m riding, and sound very athletic and sporty with all the riding we do, but I sure as hell don’t look it.  And this has been typical of the photos of me on our bikes for the past couple of years….

I’m posting it here as yet another kick up the butt to remind myself of why I’m doing this; it can serve as my official ‘bike riding’ BEFORE shot.

I’ve officially lost 2 kg since this photo…

I am so looking forward to an AFTER shot in10 weeks time.




Maybe by then I’ll also have learnt how to avoid a can of coke and a bacon and egg roll at the end of a 3 hour session as well…





Meanwhile – less ‘talk’ more action required around here. Tossing up between a walk, or attempting some of the Tight Toned Terrific dvd.

I hope everyone else is dealing ok with their own demons. Mostly everyone seems to be really smashing it, and I draw inspiration from every one of you!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


On Sunday we got working on our decking – which was derailed on Saturday because our bike ride used up all the sunshine and it rained in the afternoon.  Not much in the way of exercise happened, except for manhandling decking boards, and going up and down the stairs numerous times.  I don’t know that the triceps and biceps got that much of a workout operating the saw. (Yes, that was my job.)

triton                   decking1

I was already a bit sniffly in the morning – a southerly seems to bring out hayfever in me. By the late afternoon I got worse. Sawdust I thought. Blah.  My usual sinus and hayfever tabs didn’t work, and I had a crappy night’s sleep with a nose that ran like a tap. It’s not easy to sleep when you have to keep shoving tissues up your nose all night.

Yesterday was a write-off. Felt really crappy all day and I’ve derailed, big time, off the 12WBT track. No exercise, and eating stuff I shouldn’t be eating.

It doesn’t help that the menu this week makes me depressed – there are only about two recipes that appeal at all.  Not even the sandwiches. What’s with the sudden obsession with sandwiches all week?

I put up the notion of minestrone soup for dinner on Sunday, and it wasn’t welcomed.

So I bought pork steak medallions (super lean) – which were done on the BBQ. I hope there’s nothing too much wrong with this meal (for myself):

With homemade stewed apple. Pumpkin/sweet potato mash. Steamed veggies.

But last night I made my own Spag Bol recipe. I always make it with the leanest beef mince I can get, and it’s a family favourite. My kids love it better than any they’ve ever had in any Italian restaurants.  To sabotage it with frigging LENTILS would be akin to sacrilege.

I’d put dried chickpeas in to soak the other night – but they’re still there. The water’s gone frothy. Probably shouldn’t risk it.

But I’m getting quite hostile about all these blasted beans and lentils.

Well, that’s the food part – but I’ve also done no exercise for the past three days due to this being sneezy, sniffly, short of breath, headachy, and fending off a sore throat.  Before that, my iffy back was making it hard anyway.

So week 2 has been derailed somewhat.

I hope I can get it all back on track.  But after these last three days, I’m not exactly expecting any downwards shift on the scales tomorrow morning.

Saturday, September 25, 2010


…well, not like some seem to be managing… with all the gym class stuff that I’m reading about on 12WBT blogs and twitter.    (Plus I don’t have a HRM to actually measure calories “smashed”).  But that actual concept has now entered my vernacular – even if only in my head.

Last night at swim squad (once my back stopped screaming at me – about half way through) I really felt up to going hard – harder than I’ve felt able to for ages! 

Part of that is that my joints (that were hassling me for a quite a few months – yes, I’m quite a crock in my old age..) are finally behaving. (Maybe the glucosamine and fish oil tabs are finally kicking in..)  And even though my calf isn’t yet 100% (I can’t quite kick only) – I’m feeling better in the pool than I’ve felt for a long time.  (Maybe not being able to kick so much has given my usually weak arms some added training.)

Throw in the 12WBT psychological approach, and Michelle’s use, again and again, of the term “smash it” has now got me all hyped up to really go hard.  “Smash it, Tracey, smash it…”   All over as simple a concept as going harder to burn those calories. Can’t think why I never thought of that before!

I’m so lusting after a heart rate monitor. Thing is, I still need to control (and count) calories in – and I’m being a bit too flexible, maybe, with the menu.  I’ve had to mix it about so much to cater to the family, AND to my own likes and dislikes, that I’m a bit in danger of losing control.  Even though I’m still not eating junk, I’m possibly slipping in a few too many snacks (healthy as they may be), and of course, those calories still count.

At least the family have had a more interesting menu. I think I was in a real rut with the meals – week in, week out, cycling through the same old things.  If nothing else, they’re getting some variety.

The cauliflower soup ended up being a bit of a hit. “One of the best soups I’ve ever had,” said Himself.  That’s a big call.  He thought it could have been a bit spicier (I toned down the chilli for the sake of the rest of us.. and, as I said last post, he’s getting a bit overboard with the chilli.  He’ll probably leave me one day for someone who cooks hot and spicy food…)  The girls have admitted that despite their misgivings, it was actually pretty good. I think I might have been the only one who was a bit ‘meh’ about it – but I think that was because it didn’t appeal as the only thing I had for dinner. (I ate it early as I had to go to a meeting at the school at 7.00, and by the time I got back I couldn’t help but eat some of the roasted veggie and cous cous I’d left for the others…)

I made the avocado/capsicum/corn salsa thingy last night to go with bbq’d steaks.  I thought it was pretty good, actually… Not sure that the rest of them were as impressed.  At least I was able to schedule it for a night when The Fussiest One (who doesn’t like corn or avocado) wasn’t home.

Tonight I counted as ‘treat’ night, but I just did some marinated chicken breast (cut in half horizontally like I learnt with the Week 1 chicken recipe!) with salad, and mashed orange sweet potato. Had some new potatoes for the others, but didn’t bother myself. That’s because I’ve had one small glass of wine. (I was calling it a half a glass till Himself pointed out that it was more like 2/3.) Now I feel guilty. But I’m also starting to feel those niggles of resentment from being so damn good. If my ‘treats’ can be minimal, and in control, than there is less risk of a big blowout. (Right?)

I’ve had a quick peek at the Week 2 menu. There are a few things that don’t appeal at all, so I guess I’m going to have to get creative. [Actually, I’ve had another look, and I’m a bit disturbed – there are about 2 meals there that appeal… so I’m not quite sure what to do.]

Meanwhile… the exercise factor is going to have to take a bit more care of my back.  Just attempting sit ups fires up my lower back. And I had to pass on a few parts of the Tight Toned Terrific DVD on Thursday, because I could feel my back going on me. This has always been my big problem – I need to build up my abs, to help prevent my back from getting sore – but the process of doing so fires up my back. Catch 22 or something.

That wall brace test in the Fitness Test was a shocker for me. (Yes, I am pointing the finger at that one a bit.) Plus pushups.  The way my back is feeling, I’m not game to attempt the tricep dips at the moment either..  So I’m a bit in limbo with all of that.  Chiro visit coming up during the week I think.

By the time I went to bed last night, the endorphins had worn off from the swimming, and my back was grizzling again. It wasn’t quite as bad this morning; we decided to give our usual Saturday morning tandem ride a miss (mainly because of the school holiday traffic on the highway) and so we went out and rode for about 1 hour 45 on our MTBs.  Probably half of it was road, but we did some  bush tracks – which might reduce our average speed, but they sure as hell bump up my nervous energy.  My legs are sore tonight, but my back feels a lot better (my chiro reckons cycling is good for your back, as long as you’re not hunched over too much).  And I’m tired.  So I’m working on the assumption that I might just have ‘smashed it’ a bit.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


I snuck onto the scales again this morning, basically because I think it was a Thursday last week that I’d weighed in, so I wanted to get a ‘one week’ weigh. 75.5? How can it be one kilo down from yesterday? Well.. I’ll take it. Because it’s the one bright light in the midst of a whole lot of wondering. Ticker scale now shows a 3kg loss. (I hope that doesn’t come back to bite me with an increase…)

Himself told me he was going the other way… I refrained from pointing out that I’d noticed that while I was restraining, I’d been watching him wolf down lots of stuff. (If I was anymore paranoid than I already am, it would have been easy to tell myself he’d been taunting me… NO, I know that’s not true… but still….  Also, he’s in between Touch seasons, so less exercise happening than usual.)


I’ve been looking at the workouts that other 12WBTers are doing each day, and feeling a bit inadequate.

I’m wanting a heart rate monitor – but, honestly.. I just can’t justify it at the moment. Just wrote out two cheques this morning - $180 for the balance of Ms 11’s school excursion, and $135 for the three of us to go to Ms 17’s Year 12 Formal.  On top of the shoes, (and the stupid outfit)… I keep telling myself I will just have to wait.  It would be so cool though!

I looked at the Calorie expenditure chart on Michelle’s official website and wondered how many bloody hours of exercise I really need to do! A one hour session of anything isn’t enough to burn off 1200 calories, especially at the moment when I’m still limited by this stupid leg.  And that’s if I’m managing to stick to that, seeing I’m rebelliously trying to flex it to suit my own lifestyle and family situation. I am sure I’m not keeping to the 1200. Totally my fault, I know. I’m going to have to be a bit more strict with it.

I’m going to do the fitness test next. I could actually sit back and predict exactly my results now.  Can’t run yet, so absolutely BEGINNER with the time trial. Push-ups are rubbish: BEGINNER.  Abs are even more rubbish. Is there a PRE-BEGINNER?  I’ve been trying to do ‘bracing’ exercises to start working them, because that’s all I can do without firing up my back.

OK, the only thing I’m not sure of is the Wall sit.  I think I’ll do ok in the Sit and Reach because I have long arms! *makes monkey noises*

What I want to know is where is the cycle and swim test?!!

It’s quite bizarre.. at our swim squad I might be slower than some of them in my class, so in some of the sets I’ll get way less rest – I might only get 5 seconds to others’ 10-15 seconds. But at the end, they’re saying ‘OMG, that killed me’, and I’m all ‘Hey, that was great!’  I don’t really understand it.  And they’re whingeing about doing 75’s or 100’s, and I’m really quite fine with it.

Our squad is in a 2-lane 25m pool, and sometimes we have up to 8 of us in the class, going round and round. It’s a bit of a pain in the long sets as the fast guys overtake you, so you get less laps, and have to stop and let them pass. It’s been more frustrating lately with my leg, as I try to slot in down the back.  When they do the warm up with fins (and I can’t use fins at the moment) I have trouble slotting in amongst them.  So I have to wear that. But the most annoying thing yesterday was this (triathlete clad) girl who is fairly new to the classes. She was a bit faster than me with freestyle, but, even with my leg, I was better on the drills.  So we were doing a bit of a leapfrog thing…  Me in front of her with the drill sets. Her in front of me with the freestyle. We’d done some shorter freestyle sets.. and the next one was a 200m. The others set off… she’s in front of me at the start of it… and decides to stop and clarify with the instructor what we’re doing!!!  Gah!  (Or “JFG!!!” I wanted to scream! ) So I only got to fit in 6 laps, not the 8. 

And on another set the coach said “have a rest”.. and I said “I don’t want to rest, I want to work hard!!!!”

This is why I know that my swim squad has me working harder than if I was just ‘swimming laps’!!!

Maybe I got a bit carried away yesterday… my calf was a bit sore last night.. but I think today it’s ok.

It’s bloody good for your aerobic fitness, I swear.

I know I keep plugging it, but I did get an article published about my swim squad ‘addiction’:

swimjunkieI’ve been going twice a week for the past eight years.  The coach was saying yesterday how he remembered when I took 45 seconds to do 25m, and now I can hold 25 seconds.  I remember not being able to swim the length of the pool with a pool buoy between my legs (distinctly remember stopping, spluttering, half way down the pool, and throwing it.)  Now I don’t blink if we have to do 200m of ‘pull’.  

I’m going to miss it these next two weeks during school holidays when the centre is closed!

Anyway.. today. Better get happening with the fitness test AND the dvd. And figuring out dinner, when I have to go up to school for a 7pm parent teacher meeting about next term’s Year 6 excursion.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Never mind the weight loss – how about an overhaul for my brain?  Weigh in morning – and, on our old half kilo increment scales, it read 76.5.   This is a 2kg loss since I signed up – and just a half kilo loss since last Thursday, so I was happy about that.

Then for a minute just now I got all excited because according to my Ticker scale, it was a 1kg loss.  The bliss didn’t last long - signing in to update my stats on 12WBT, I remembered I was actually behind on the Ticker thingy… back to just a 0.5kg loss.  Which is all ok – I don’t mind losing the weight slowly and steadily.  Just… my brain?

And I’m not able to exercise at full impact yet (not even with my swim squad) so watch out!  Onwards and downwards.

I switched recipes around last night, and had the Chicken with mustard and tarragon. Yummo! The kids liked it too.  (Served with rice for the rest of them.) The DH said he liked it, then later I discovered he’d added some chilli sauce. WTF?  (As I commented elsewhere last night, one of the hardest parts about this is dealing with the rest of the family’s needs and wants….)  That recipe DID NOT need chilli sauce.  He’s becoming like the proverbial kid who adds tomato sauce to everything – only with him it’s chilli. *rolls eyes*

What is good is that I was totally happy with no rice – just the chicken and steamed veggies.  The supermarket didn’t have any squash or fresh tarragon – so I went without the squash, and used some dried tarragon.  I did add some cornflour to the sauce… hope that wasn’t a calorific no-no – but I thought it needed to thicken just a little.  The other bonus with that recipe was the way you cut the breast fillet in half horizontally. Genius! I’ve never done that before, and consequently tended to avoid breast fillets because they are too thick and dry.   So much for leftovers though – there was just one tenderloin left.

I liked the creamed corn on the wrap yesterday – a new wrap taste sensation! -  but I have so much creamed corn in the fridge now, I’m going to have to eat that on wraps for a week to use it up!  Seriously, my fridge is not big enough for all this stuff! These leafy green veggies take up so much room…  No way can I just do a weekly shop for a family of five!

I’m going to have to switch the menu around again. I won’t be able to serve up just cauliflower soup for dinner to my lot.


In the exercise department, yesterday I did the Tight Toned Terrific DVD.  Well, I did most of it.   I swear I never used to be so unco! One part I just couldn’t get the timing right.  (I guess this program is going to be good for my brain cells too!)  With my leg I had to mainly follow the low impact lead, although I could manage a bit more spring. The calf wasn’t too bad, so that was encouraging.   I have a lot of catch up to do with the abs – I can’t manage any of those! – so I’ve pulled some more basic ab exercises off the net, and I’ll work on them.  I also have to go and buy more hand weights – I didn’t get up to speed with my ‘gearing up’– and I only have one 1kg one, and one 2.5kg one in the house.  I think I had better get in some stealth training with the triceps as well.  :(

I went for a brisk walk up and down the beach in the afternoon – 2.5km , including some ‘up’ – a sand dune, and some bush track stairs.  I’m still not ready to break into a jog yet. Maybe I’m over-paranoid, but I’m just not going to risk stuffing up my calf.

This morning I got up early. (Not as early as I should have.. but still.. progress…) and went for a walk again.  Lower back was iffy, and the calf was tight… so I couldn’t even go at yesterday’s pace.   I think I’m better off with a hot shower to warm my muscles up first. I am lucky as I don’t have to be anywhere in the daytime, so it’s not like I can’t do this stuff during school hours.  Today I have swim squad again.  Mind you, I also need to factor in the cooking as well (as I have to take Ms 11 to her tennis lesson this afternoon).  And all the other things I’ve been ignoring while I’ve been obsessing over this.

You guys who are working as well? I take my hat off to you.

I know I could be more on top of everything with a better set of scales, and a heart rate monitor to measure calories burnt, but I guess as I’m seeing downwards results, I can be happy.  I just can’t justify spending more money at the moment.

I’m trying to decide whether to post the Before shots here. I got Ms 11 to take them for me.  Urrghh… did a sideways one… That’s enough to convince anyone that I do indeed have weight to lose. And abs to work on.

OK.. I’m going out on a limb here…  THIS is why I am doing this program… THIS is why I need to lose weight:


(That’s the outfit I settled for the other night. God, I look so … portly. Matronly…)

I’m putting this out here as extra INCENTIVE.

Onwards and DOWNWARDS!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


So it’s just occurred to me that I misread that recipe last night. In the whole catering for the whole family thing I lost sight of the fact that the recipes are ‘serves 2’ not ‘serves 1’.  Guess who doubled the calories last night then.  :(   For heaven’s sakes, Tracey…

The rest of the family had ‘normal’ homemade pizzas with the pita bread, and all turned up their nose at trying it with Ricotta. And Himself always looks a bit.. I don’t know.. disappointed (and underfed)… if dinner is something like homemade pizzas. *sighs*  And I only had tomato paste for them to use – nothing fancier, so he was looking a bit put out about that. Only redeeming thing was that I had olives for him. And a chilli.   (At least the girls went “Yummmmo” – mind you, we’re talking full-on mozzarella cheese here… and salami… *rolls eyes*) 

As for the actual recipe with me - I probably put less ricotta on than the recipe, and I added some capsicum, mushroom and a tiny bit of lo fat sundried tomato for taste.  With the ..*ahem* .. second one, I just put chopped up baby spinach on it (with the other toppings) before putting it in the oven. I didn’t really like it blanched.

Can’t believe I did that. No wonder I was feeling quite full. 

So, after that spectacular stuff up on Day 1… all I can do is look ahead. And note that I’m still eating better than I was. It was all the snacking that was putting the weight on. I’m on top of that now, but to lose weight, I’ll have to do better with the calorie control.

I haven’t got a Heart Rate Monitor yet…so I’ve really no idea about calories burnt. (after buying the runners, paying for the program, and all the blasted going out gear – and we also bought ourselves $90 Coffs Coast Cycle Challenge jerseys -  I’m thinking I need to hold back on the spending for a bit. Though Himself has been interested in getting one – more for keeping tabs on overexertion – at our tender age!)

I’ve never been keen on the idea of getting bogged down in counting calories – even though I know that it works. I just don’t think it’s a sustainable lifestyle thing for me to do – and if me losing weight/keeping weight off relied strictly on that, I know it would fall apart once the program was over.  I’d rather get the ‘feel’ for the amount and type of food – and these menu plans are starting to teach me that.    For now I’ve started looking up online calorie counters for a few things, which will help me. 

So yesterday I did my swim squad. I’m still not up to full-speed; just can’t quite kick hard with the leg, which is most frustrating, seeing that kicking has always been my strength. (Perhaps this time of not being able to rely on my legs has been good for my arms!) I’d normally power up the pool with the kickboard, but I’m still floundering.  I’m up to being able to do nearly 3/4 of the (25m) pool with drills (6 kick change, and 1 arm) – so I’m nearly back.

I also went for about a 1km brisk walk to the shop and back the long way. And started trying to do some of the exercises. Crap, my triceps are rubbish.  No way can I do 12. And my abs!  My back was already niggling yesterday, so trying to do a sit up only exacerbated things.  I reverted to doing the pre-beginner ab ‘flattening’ exercise I did learn when I went to a personal trainer. (You draw in your abs and flatten your back, and hold, so that you’d be able to hold a towel in there). I could feel that working, so I’d better put them down as extra homework each day.

So, yes,  I did once go to a personal trainer, but gave up as she just didn’t know how to deal with my back, and my consequent slower progress. If I couldn’t do something, or progress to a heavier weight as quickly as she thought (she’d bump up the weight so I’d never get a sense of satisfaction at having achieved something.  She couldn’t hide the frustration – almost disdain – especially when I didn’t look ‘happy’ while I was doing something.  Rolling your eyes, and narky comments kind of give that away.

So I have a bit of a wariness of gym equipment. And trainers.  I’m the only one who knows what my back feels like, so I have to look after myself.

Today I have scheduled the ‘Tight Toned Terrific’ DVD. Might head up first and take that BEFORE photo in the mirror – it’s too hard pinning someone else down to do it.  I have Ms 11 home from school today with a sore throat (sent her back to bed.) Had Ms 15 home yesterday. So much for having the place to myself….  And next week is school holidays, so I will have to work around them.

Not sure about dinner – don’t have a char grill, so that’s better as a weekend recipe when I can get Himself to BBQ. And one child doesn’t like avocado or corn.  (Hit the jackpot with that recipe then… not)  And tomorrow night?  There’ll be a mutiny if I only serve soup for dinner!  I’m already getting crap for having had only multigrain bread for sandwiches for the past week.

Hope everyone else did a bit better on their first day than me!!

Monday, September 20, 2010


OK, so today is the official start of the 12WBT, and I’m already in a bit of a state of flux. 

The last 3 days have been so busy, that I haven’t had the chance to do the ‘before’ photos, or the measurements, never mind the fitness test.  The measurements I’ll go and do shortly. The photo is going to be a bit hard till I can get someone to take it for me, unless I can figure out where to put a mirror so I’ll be against a plain background.

I’ve been looking at this menu plan with a bit of despair, trying to figure out how to adapt it to suit the tastes and appetites of my Not at all Overweight family. (If my skinny 11 year old gets any less calories, she’ll disappear!)  Most recipes include something that someone doesn’t like – including myself!! And I look at some of them and wonder where the range of nutrition is…   So I am going to have to be extra clever, and adapt it to suit our family.  I have already been doing that anyway…  Since I signed up I’ve had a revolution with my own eating/snacking habits – and some meals I’ve made other alternatives for myself, or just omitted stuff. (Should have seen Friday night’s meal – never had so many steamed veggies ever – and I substituted corn for pasta for myself.)

So I think I’m smart enough to be able to adapt.  I’m not going to be able to follow this plan religiously – but I can use it as a guide.   It’s all about ‘Taking Control’, and so taking control of the program and making it work for me – and to be something sustainable beyond the end of the 12 weeks – has got to be a good thing.


In other news .. on Friday I ‘fessed up to Himself about what I was doing (and what I’d spent on this.)  He’d already sussed that I was doing something – and when it came down to it, he couldn’t really argue with me spending money on my health, fitness, and indeed, my “looks”.  Particularly when he’d just hassled me to go out and buy an outfit and shoes to go out to a work ‘do’.

So I decided to strike while the iron was hot (we were in the plaza at the time- me eating my ‘takeaway from home’ chicken salad!) and then went and bought myself new ‘running’ shoes.  I got ‘trail running’ shoes, as, if I manage to learn how to run, I’m really more a bush track girl. They’ll be perfect for jogging on the beach… And they are the most comfortable pair of ‘joggers’ I’ve ever owned!  It’s going to be a couple more weeks before I can run on this leg though – still a challenge to walk totally properly – so I’m going to be a bit behind with all that. 


Anyway… like I said – busy weekend.  46km bike ride on Saturday morning, and 75km yesterday.  (Netall canteen for nearly 4 hours, grand final day, thankgodit’salloverfortheyear!) I fell off the wagon at the end yesterday’s ride – scoffed a bacon and egg roll, and a can of coke when we finished – but at least I reined it in after that and didn’t continue stuffing my face with bad carbs and sugar like I normally do.

We had the work ‘do’ on Saturday night – local business awards.  It was, as I predicted, boring as hell – even though husband’s company cleaned up with 4 awards, including ‘Business of the Year’.  (Heaven help me, I was dragged into the official group photo at the end. This is certainly the wrong end of the 12WBT to potentially having my photo in the damn local paper… )  You know…despite fears that I've been gradually turning into a social hermit, I’m not sure that tottering about in high heels, sitting at a dinner where it was hard to carry on a conversation with anyone but the person next to you (Husband’s boss.. great…), picking at mediocre RSL club food, and having to watch POLE DANCING as entertainment – is my idea of a good time.  (Hermits Unite, I say…)

A friend who’d once torn her calf muscle reckoned high heels (and bike riding) helped her – but I’m here to tell you that my personal scepticism of the high heels theory was warranted. I had to take them off to limp the last few hundred metres back to the car, and I hobbled up to bed hoping that I hadn’t just set my recovery back a few weeks.   Fortunately I was ok in the morning – and I lasted the 75km ride, with a bit of help from Voltaren…

As for the ride - (and apart from being officially ‘buggered’ at the end of it, as we didn’t dilly dally) - if one more person called out ‘that’s cheating’ at us on the tandem, I swear, I was going to knock them off their bikes. And to the ‘gentleman’ that ‘observed’ (very unoriginally I might add – no you’re not at all funny)- “the one on the back isn’t putting in” – I challenge you to strap a few bags of cement to YOUR bike, then race us over any distance you choose, and then we’ll see whether I’m just there as a passenger.

Today – apart from having my Ms 15 at home in bed, unwell (ed: still asleep at nearly 1pm) – I’m ready to get going with this program.  Swim squad this afternoon. I’m a bit stiff from the ride, so I’ll do those exercises after (hopefully) loosening up at swimming.

This fitness test will be a fizzer. Can’t run yet because of my calf – though I would rate myself as reasonable with the aerobic fitness (thanks to the swimming and riding.)  My upper body strength is a joke – and the abs?… Even when I tried a personal trainer, doing weights, I struggled with the most basic of ab exercises before my back started playing up. So sit ups right now are looking pretty pie in the sky.

Oh well, here goes nothing. I have to work this out, and make it work for me.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


OK, very mild disappointments in the scheme of things – I’m just being a drama queen with my post titles.

I’d been all keyed up to jump on the scales today, after a week of being so virtuous with my food intake. And not too shabby with the exercise either. Well, so I thought – till I wrote it down.

Wednesday – 1 hour swim squad
Thursday - (errgh! can’t remember!)
Friday – , rode round block a few times to test leg. 1 hour swim squad.
Saturday – 46km bike ride.
Monday – 1 hour swim squad
Tuesday – 30 min walk up the beach

What a let down. No change at all. I know that my scales are only in 500g increments, but I was psyched up to get a repeat of last week’s 1kg loss.  Obviously not enough exercise and obviously still not good enough in the ‘energy in’ department’.

I know we will be getting stuck into it from Monday with both calorie intake, and the burning thereof… I guess I just thought that having cut back on all rubbish food might have made some difference. (This is where in the past I’d get depressed and give up – so at least this time I can’t do that.)   I suppose this is a message that I can’t ‘cheat’ with some things…

The other disappointment was that I got stuck on school canteen, and couldn’t get away to do my make-up swim squad.  The swimming has been so great for my calf muscle recuperation, and I’d made such progress on Monday (I was starting to be able to kick enough to do half a lap of drills) I was really looking forward to today.

When I got home I did get my MTB out, and I rode round and round the block for 6km/20mins (before the kids got home from school), so I guess that’s something I wouldn’t have done previously. I just would have moaned to myself that I missed my swimming.

After going for a walk up the beach yesterday afternoon, my recalcitrant knee – that has actually been behaving while my calf was bad-   decided to hurt.  I ended up taking a nurofen this morning, despite what I heard about nurofen and voltaren on the news last night.



Maybe I’m pushing it too much too soon, but I’m itching to get back out here. When I’ve got this beach on my doorstep, it’s not hard to choose ‘outdoor’ training over going to a gym…  I’m just kind of still waiting to know what guidance/directions I might get.

Also just waiting now for my ‘Crunch Time’ dvd to arrive.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Testing Windows Live Writer

atb_finishOn a complete tangent to 12WBT preparations, I read a piece about Windows Live Writer, and how it’s great for doing your blog offline, great for doing layout that is a pain in your blog editor. Supposedly. So I downloaded it.. 

You can certainly do a bit of mucking around with pictures… though it’s not exactly Publisher – and it’s not exactly doing what I think it should be doing right this minute. I think it could be a bit of a time suck, trying to be fancier than you need to be.

trace_geronimo Anyway… just to fill in space, this is a photo from 2 years ago when we went down to Melbourne to do the ATB – Around The Bay – in a day. 210 km around the Bay. In a day.

You can see what I mean about wondering what exercise challenge to do during or at the end of the 12WBT.

When I look at that pic, I can see how much weight I’ve put on in the last 2 years.  Getting into a wetsuit for canyoning in January this year was a challenge, and none of the photos of me during that trip are particularly flattering.

Really… I could do without that STOMACH.



PS. After publishing it to the blog… I’m a convert!


Preseason task #7. 
This is the given schedule of exercise to plan for:
5. Light fitness, core and stretch.
6. Fitness.

This is at once a great idea, and yet still difficult for me at this stage.

Firstly, as I'm still recovering from the torn calf muscle, I'm not sure I can do as much as I'd like.

Secondly, I'm not sure how to rate my swim squad for the 'fitness'. What constitutes core and stretch? Indeed, what constitutes 'fitness'?  How far/how long do I need to ride my bike?

Please don't tell me I need a heart rate monitor.. I can't justify buying one of them.. just yet.

And do I need to stick to that order? (ie. I have swim squad Mondays and Fridays,which aren't changeable.)

I have ordered Mish's dvd - It'S CRUNCH TIME! TIGHT TONED TERRIFIC.  Otherwise, I have my bike. And I am planning on just doing outdoor/indoor training. I have a great beach within 200m. There's a dune I can walk/run up (*calf just twinged thinking about that right now*) ... and some bush track stairs.

In my house I have two flights of stairs... (3 storey house.)

I'm hoping things become more clear as we start, and I can fill up my diary then.

Then there's the mini-milestones to set for weeks 4 and 8, and the major milestone for Week 12.

Giving myself physical challenges has not been my problem,  It's 'fuelling' my way through them, and then 'treating myself' for several days afterwards as a 'reward' that has been my downfall.

I'm kicking off my 12WBT with a 75km bike ride the day before Round 3 officially starts! Tell me... what on earth do I set as my mini and major milestones?

Monday, September 13, 2010


Forgive the netball analogy. I watch so much of the bloody game all year...

One of the preseason tasks was to set our goals.  1 Month. 3 Month. 6 Month. 12 Months.  With a "How will I get there" for each.

When I initially wrote them out, I was quite modest with my weight loss goals. And probably a bit vague about how:
1 month - lose first 2 kg
Following exercise and nutrition plan
3 months - lose 6 kg total
Be exercising every day as a habit.
Exercise and nutrition plan.
6 months -lose 10 kg total -
Fit back into size 12-14 clothes.
Yep - that exercise and nutrition plan.
12 months - lose 15kg total - that last tricky 5 kg
Back into a Size 12.

I know many others have incorporated a physical challenge as well, but I'm not sure what. I know that I can do long bike rides. I've done a 2km 'ocean' swim (Coffs Harbour Jetty Swim). OK, I haven't done a triathlon, or a marathon, but, having tried running and having to pay too much in chiropractic to fix me up each time, I'd already decided that I really do have to stick to non-impact exercise.

That could well change I guess. If  (I mean WHEN) I end up 15kg lighter, then it's a lot less weight impact on my joints, and lower back, isn't it?  It's just with the back, and more recently the joint issues I've had, I'm really having to be a bit careful.

There's always a big long walk!  Anyone want to climb a mountain with me? Oxfam trail walk?

Or we could get back into our canoeing...

Anyway - back to the modest goals. I'm wondering if I'm not aiming high enough...  I tend to operate like this - the old - 'aim low' and anything on top of that is a bonus' - which probably isn't a good thing.

If I was completely honest with myself, I really would  like to lose those 10kg by the end of the 12 weeks.

I'm going to see what my Wednesday weigh-in brings. If I've managed to lose another 1 kg just doing preseason with pretty much just the virtuous eating, then I think I can really up the ante with the program proper, and revise those goals.

Yesterday I managed to do NO EXERCISE. (I'm checking back on what sort of excuse the cricked neck I woke up with would be!)  However I did very well with the eating, so I'm not beating myself up too much about it.  Yet another day of restrained virtuosity where it hit me again just how much I would normally be scoffing. Honestly, it's a wonder I'm not another 10-20kg heavier... Rather than being cheesed that I had still slowly put on weight despite all the bike riding etc, I should be thankful that 'all that riding' has saved me from totally blowing out.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


I'm really starting to wonder about this whole idea of telling people that I'm starting this 12WBT to lose weight. It seems to open the floodgates for people to start suggesting all these other diet theories.  Hang about people! I'm already signed up to a particular program, ok! So don't start telling me about the Liver Cleansing Diet... (and to eat more protein, and... and... and.....!) I'm going to be going with this one. Basically healthy eating (right Michelle?) - with the exercise program.  For now!


Mind you... seems I don't have to even announce my intentions verbally. This morning Himself and I decided to give my leg a test ride - and we rode the tandem into town to meet up with the Community Ride riders. (The Coffs Coast Community ride goes from 6.30-8am - but lately rather than drive in for that we've been riding the 23km in instead, and joining everyone for coffee at 8.00.. Then riding home again!  We have been known to ride in for 6.30, ride another 30-40km in the community ride, then ride home, but then I'm a zombie for the rest of Saturday!)

I always get a coffee. And we have always ordered something to eat; my body needs fuel to ride another 23km thanks. Rather than something sweet, I often get a fried egg on toast. Or a BLAT.  I know, I know!  Excess to requirements. And not a great choice.  So today I took a banana with me, and I nicked away and bought a multigrain bread roll from a bakery.

I've done this before, on one of my unsuccessful bids to eat better. And noone has ever commented. But today, as I sat back down with the roll and banana,  a friend noticed and, at the top of her voice, called out "Trace! What's that? Did you BYO breakfast?!"

Oh gee, is it that out of character?

It wasn't something I particularly wanted to advertise to the outdoor cafe people. Nor to everyone else!

"I'm just trying to eat healthier to lose weight." I told her quietly.

But then she came and sat down and wanted to know all about it. And how long I'd been doing it. ("About a week, says Himself." - *snorts* - like he'd know!)

Given that this wasn't the place to enlighten him as to what I've invested in this, this time, I couldn't expand on what it was all about. So I got yet more "advice".


I've had a couple of other dilemmas too.

I've reluctantly agreed to go with Himself to a work 'thing' next Saturday night. A local 'business awards' night. It is honestly the last thing in the world I feel like doing - but every year we say 'no thanks' to his boss, and Himself was starting to feel guilty at not representing the company.

Thing is, I'm just not a 'dressing up to go out' kind of person - and I've become increasingly more averse to it over the years. I've gone right off makeup, and I don't have any fancy clothes to wear out. (Anything remotely suitable that I might have had in my wardrobe now doesn't fit.)  And don't start me on my inability to wear heels. I have a pair of black sandals, with the lowest heel I could possibly get away with, and they will half cripple me by the end of the night AND I will be so self conscious about how godawful my ankles look in sandals.

I'd thought I might get by on black pants and something on top. But now I've found out that the dress code is 'cocktail'.


Basically, I don't have anything suitable, and the timing for buying something 'nice' to have in my wardrobe is so wrong!  Daughter's Yr 12 formal is coming up, but that's in late October. I plan to have lost a few kilos by then!   I don't want to spend money on something now that I fully intend to be too big for me in 6 weeks time.

Here I am concerned about having spent $200 on this program. And going through all this angst about whether to splurge on a Wii Fit.  Or even gym membership.

And now I have to go out and waste money on clothes that I will be unlikely to wear again!

I had to tell Himself  I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT.  But I can tell he doesn't put much store in that supposed resolve, which I can hardly blame him for, as I've been fiffing and faffing around about needing to lose weight for the past 10 years, but kept sabotaging myself. And putting weight on instead.

He wants Ms 17 to drag me into the shops this week to be my 'fashion consultant'.

I really wasn't planning on telling him just yet - not till we started properly and he could see the proof - in my actions, and in results.


Last dilemma (but at least partially resolved) was with whether to go against the Physio's advice and ride today. I did.  And while the calf twinged a bit - and Himself had to do a bit more work 'carrying' me on the tandem - a few hours later, it feels pretty good, and I'm feeling great to have done a pretty decent 46km workout today.

The next question is whether I'll be right to do a 75km ride (Coffs Coast Cycle Challenge) Sunday next week. Given that ordinarily riding 75km wouldn't be that much out of the ordinary for us, with the question over my leg, it will be a challenge.

Life just wasn't meant to be easy, was it?! ;)

Friday, September 10, 2010


Yesterday wasn't such a good day 12WBT-wise - but I have to remind myself that it's still "preseason".  The leg hurt a bit, and so I didn't get round to doing any sort of exercise on it - unless walking through the shopping plaza counts.

And then I failed with the food resolve. Had a piece of thick style raisin toast. With butter. (Now buying  'lite'-er butter - does that help?*)  The raisin toast is probably something I should have thrown out as per Kitchen makeover Task, but I actually just bought it. The girls have to have something to eat when they come home from school, and that is supposed to be better than biscuits or cake. Right?

[* I'm trying as much as possible to avoid butter altogether - eg. I just had a piece of wholegrain toast, with mashed banana on it. But sometimes butter is what it takes. And I hate margarine.]

Still... I felt a bit icky after it - so I think I can turn it into a positive.  You know, like when you've eaten KFC, then regret it so much afterwards, you don't have it again for 12 months!

I've had some brown rice in the fridge which I've used to mix up with some chicken and salad for lunch. It feels wholesome and healthy to eat - and I figure that the rice helps fill you up a bit more. What I learnt from that, though, is that I shouldn't have it on a day I plan to have rice for dinner as well. I had great intentions of having some heated-up brown rice while the others had jasmine rice - but suddenly the thought of more brown rice was so unappealing to me, I relented and ate the bloody jasmine rice too.

Other than that, I resisted all other temptations, particularly when walking around the supermarket.  With this current  12WBT preseason 'virtuosity', I am realising just how much crap I was slipping in...   The "oh, just one bit of chocolate won't hurt..." syndrome.  And as I walked through the bakery section at Woollies, I recalled how many slices of honey roll, or similar, that I had been known to polish off in one sitting.

So even though yesterday I wasn't perfect, I was still so much better  than I have been in the past.

Moving forward!!!  ;)

I am still trying to decide about purchasing a workout video. And then yesterday I was eyeing off the Wii Fit Plus bundle. Would I use it? Can I justify the expense?

I'm sure we are going to need variety with the 12WBT program - which I will want to continue after the 12 weeks.

What to do... what to do....?

Thursday, September 9, 2010


The latest Preseason Task is to chuck out all the crap in the cupboards.


Now in some ways this is easy. I'm 3/4 of the way there anyway. We don't have a lot of the usual crap in the cupboards. Not like some places - so I've been told by my poor "deprived" children. We have healthy cereals. (Except that Ms 17 puts brown sugar on her weetbix.) We just moved to organic weetbix because Himself has to reduce his iron intake. (And we all prefer the taste.)

We don't have packaged biscuits and soft drink in the house as a matter of course. We have lots of fruit, and there's always veges.

The girls do like to get something 'yummy' for afternoon tea, or for school lunches, and look through the shopping bags expectantly if I've come home from shopping. I do give in sometimes, but more often, lately, I'll suggest they have a piece of toast! (Even that is tempting for me - toast and butter!... she didn't mention anything about that did she!)

But I will have a mutiny on my hands if I get rid of white bread, white rice...  Even the Daddy complains about brown rice. (me? - I actually prefer it!)   Yes, I always have multigrain bread in the freezer, but there is high drama if I don't have white. I have gone through this battle before - and the Drama Queen will go without lunch, rather than take multigrain. And then buy who knows what at school. Better to occasionally have 'run out' of white, than trying to make wholesale change all at once.

I also gave up the battle to put everyone on lite milk. (I myself have no-fat - which I weaned myself down to years ago and now prefer the taste.). I gave in and have to keep buying whole milk for Madam, because otherwise she will go without breakfast!   If I push it, I'll get a lecture from her along the lines of 'do you want me to get an eating disorder?!'  Bloody smart-arse teenagers these days! If your kids are much younger, count yourself lucky - you have a chance to change them. Ms 11 is much easier to convert to a cause.

My eldest also WILL NOT eat fish - so that makes things a bit difficult for family meals. The only thing Himself  isn't keen on with food is tinned fish - so, sheesh... there goes another family meal option....

With my Drama Queen, I have to take the subtle approach. Over the past year she has made more 'good' decisions about eating more healthily.. and it's definitely one of those situations where I have to stand back and let her come round of her own accord. Next year she'll be off and away to uni, so it will be a bit easier with one less 'variable'.

Meanwhile, with the stocking of the pantry, I have some concerns of my own. (Wonder where she gets her fussiness from?)   Anchovies? Are you kidding?  And kidney beans and me are NOT friends - I hate them with a passion - so it's going to be difficult to follow a menu plan that has them. :-/

Mostly I think I am going to have to take a more subtle approach. I don't really need to bin anything we already have. I will have to make strong choices for myself (eg. the orange juice! - even if I do buy the 'fresh' stuff) - and then gradually change.

I am making things hard on myself by not bringing Himself in on this at the start - but I will need some proof for the sceptic (who thinks I should be able to do all this on my own) before I can really get him on board.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Trying not to get too excited. Could put it down to an aberration. Or a natural fluctuation. But I just (with baited breath) hopped on the scales. (Given I've been too scared to hop on the scales for the past year, this was an achievement in itself.)

1kg less than the same time last week!! 

This is such positive reinforcement!!  If I can lose 1kg in a week with limited mobility, and just being a hell of a lot better with what I put in my mouth, then I can move mountains once we start this program officially. For once, it all doesn't seem so impossible.

Riding round the block felt ok yesterday, and so I pushed it and rode to a friend's place - which involved a little bit of up and down. It was only about 3km there and back, so nothing in the scheme of my usual riding distance.... The downside is that later my anklebone (on the inside) got sore and red. WTF?   At my last physio appointment today he said it would be related - that the tendons are still trying to compensate. Recommendation: be patient another week with the bike riding.  *insert sad, frustrated face here*

Still... I have my swimming, and I'm about to head out to that right now.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010


I've told my lovely daughters who have pledged to support me. (17 yr old says as long as I don't make her follow my reformed eating habits throughout her HSC exams.)

I told Facebook.  Without being specific about how, so of course I'm starting to get the 'I did the such & such diet'....   I feel a bit like I am having an affair.

I told Twitter.

Activity-wise I managed yet more at swimming yesterday. Can kick a little bit now with left leg, so did most of the program without the pool buoy AND managed to do it within the times. eg. 4 x 100m - slow and steady, got 5-10 seconds break in between each. I think this could even be improving my breathing so that I don't get too puffed.  Still can't kick enough to do drills, but getting closer.  Back for more on Wednesday after (hopefully last) physio visit.

Food choices going pretty well. Trying not to get too obsessed just yet - this is Pre-Season, and so working up to it is ok. If nothing else it is making me realise just how much crap I WAS putting in my mouth.

Testing out the bike today. Cross your fingers for me!

Monday, September 6, 2010


Preseason task #5 was to write out our 'handshake' - our commitment to this. This is what I posted:

My commitment is this: to lose 10kg in 6 months and fit back into all those clothes I’ve grown out of. (And buy myself some new ones to celebrate.)  I am committed 120%! to this program.

I WILL make exercising everyday a habit, and I WILL change my eating habits so that I don’t mind-talk my way into sabotaging myself.

I have already told some friends on the weekend - and I will tell my three daughters. But for now, no, I am not telling my husband, because his nagging in the past has only added fuel to my ‘it’s not fair - why should I have to NOT eat/drink what I like’ resentment/self-sabotaging mind talk.  WHEN he notices the difference in me, THEN I will tell him.

My commitment was sealed when I took out my credit card and signed up to this without telling him. Trust me.
 I am going to prove to him that I can do it, and that it was worth every damn cent.


My preseason exercise build-up isn't ideal with this bloody leg, but I am getting there. I did some walking over the weekend! (As well as being on my feet manning the netball canteen for 4 hours- that must count for something, right?)

Saturday morning's little jaunt wasn't exactly planned. Ms 17 was supposed to be doing the paper run, but at 7.15 she came upstairs to us crying.  It has been a tough week - a girl who had been in her year at school (till earlier this year) was killed in a car accident on Wednesday night.  Their whole year was in shock, but she'd been fairly stoic, I think, until the girl's picture on the front of the local paper she was delivering just completely unravelled her. Ms 11 and I got up and did it for her.

It has been a very sobering few days.

I still couldn't walk completely normally - and my hip started to hurt, even though it was barely half an hour of walking. Probably lugging a heavy golf buggy with papers wasn't ideal. Still... some stretching helped. Later in the afternoon I took the neighbour's dog - who we are looking after for a few days - round the block. (Her pulling on the leash isn't ideal either).  The back of my knee was doing this slightly weird clicky thing - so I didn't push that too long either. But when I went to bed on Saturday night, my legs felt sore all over- that 'worked muscle' sore - in my hamstrings and quads even. So I guess that is all positive.

I walked Tess the dog again yesterday afternoon (and this time no clicking, and the hip behaved.) Again not far, but I'm taking this cautiously.

I swam again on Friday night, and did nearly all the program, even though I did freestyle instead of any drills. I did maybe 1/3 with a pool buoy.  Mostly it was my shoulder that hurt! (another saga with this wretched body of mine) - but I pushed through that, and afterwards, and all weekend, it hasn't troubled me like it did most of last week. Go figure!

Back in the pool this afternoon - I'll be going three times a week till the end of term. I don't know how long it will be before I can kick properly... but whatever I'm doing has got to help.

I will take Miss Tess for another walk this morning, and tomorrow I will pull out the bike and see how I go on the flat. I am dying to get back onto the tandem so we can do our Saturday morning ride.


I have been pretty damned good with the eating...  Well ok... pretty damned good in that it's a big change from what I have been doing. Perhaps it's still not quite enough - I can feel the old 'negotiations' coming into play, where I tell myself that 'one bite' , or 'just one third of a glass of wine' is ok, because 'otherwise I will get the shits and fall off the wagon'.

I am sure that the program, once it starts for real, will put me right on that score. Meanwhile, I have made HUGE changes to the good.

My commitment for this week is: No wine at all. No coke (not that I have had any since I started.) No butter. Until I am in receipt of further advice to the contrary.

Friday, September 3, 2010


I am really looking forward to the eating advice this program promises to deliver. I so need tips on what to munch on when I get the munchies - which is a LOT of the time. Yes, yes, I do kind of know, but I need more ideas, otherwise I'm going to get cranky and fed up.

As I said, I've already made inroads with food choices over the past couple of days. When I've wanted to eat something crappy I've pulled out a carrot instead. And each time I made that choice, I realised just how much crap I've been shovelling in. "Oh, just this biscuit won't hurt"... that type of warped rationale...

I just think I might get a bit sick of carrots - because they don't really hit the spot like a chocolate biscuit does. For now, yes, they are hitting the 'virtuous' spot - but that will definitely not last. I need some variety!

It's such a mind battle.

So, already, with the Pre-Season tasks, laying out my excuses - actually having to write them out - is a good thing.

I'm too tired. I hate getting up early. I don't want to ride by myself. Not fair that others can eat what they want and I can't. Eating this will make me feel better. I'm soooo hungry after that ride, I need an energy boost....

Not that hard really: "Suck it up princess." "Life wasn't meant to be Easy, and it sure isn't fair." "Just do it." And - "no it won't make you feel better - you hate yourself for how much weight you put on - that's a WORSE feeling than foregoing a bit of cake."

I'll lay out the other excuses next post. Right now I'm heading to the chiropractor to get a maintenance service! My back has been pretty good lately - but I'm likely to be putting stuff out with all the limping around - best to get in and correct stuff before it hits.

I'll be in town, so choosing a healthy lunch will be a challenge.

And back in the pool this afternoon. Let's see if I can do the whole distance, even if it is slowly and without much kicking.

I didn't actually do any exercise yesterday, but I'll play it safe a couple more days with the leg. I can't afford to stuff it up by getting carried away. Right now just imagining doing a lot of stuff makes me wince, but it's going to be good by the 20th!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010


Signing up is already helping in the eating department. I already don't want to sabotage my investment, so yesterday and today I've been very good about what I've put in my mouth. Mind you, I've gone through days before when I've been really really good, and then I've fallen pretty damn quickly off the wagon.

Building up the physical activity is a bit more tricky. I tore a calf muscle two weeks ago, and while it's improved heaps, I'm still not able to do much on it at the moment. Walking almost normally (albeit still carefully, and not too quickly) is an achievement.

I went back to my swim squad on Monday - did probably 20 mins worth, a mixture of pool buoy, and swimming without kicking much. The wetsuit type calf protector that I bought is too short and too tight, so when I went again yesterday (I have a few classes to make up now!)- I ended up wearing the material compression bandage. So I did twice as much, alternating again between the pool buoy and half-flutter kicking. Using the pool buoy ended up putting pressure on my pectoral muscles (I think - either that or I was having heart problems!)

Not quite ready to get back into riding - a real bummer, as we had only (finally) got back on the tandem about three weeks prior. Hopefully it won't be much longer - pedalling is a more controlled movement, so as long as he carries me up the hills, we might be ok. Maybe Saturday next week?

Next posts: More background, and then getting stuck into My Excuses, and My Goals.


I'm 48. And despite my relatively active life, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. This makes me bloody depressed.

Sure, I could be worse, I admit, but the clothes don't lie. (The lack of clothes that fit don't lie.) I can't decide which is worse - looking in the mirror, or seeing photos of myself. Or how I don't feel remotely attractive or (dare I say it?) sexy.


Even though I once successfully lost weight through seeing a nutritionist 11 years ago, before my third/last pregnancy.. (well technically third and a half pregnancy....) and theoretically I should know what to do, I don't have the willpower or self discipline to do it.

I am a comfort eater, and a first class procrastinator.

I need the proverbial kick in the pants/support/advice... call it what you will.

And I won't get this from my husband. He just thinks it's a matter of willpower. Cut out eating rubbish lunches and cut back to just lite beer, as he's done in the past - easy peasy. Apparently.

I know if I tell him I'm I want to spend money via this online program that's kind of associated with the Biggest Loser, he'd try to talk me out of it.

I actually mulled it over openly on Facebook. One friend suggested putting $200 in an account and rewarding myself in the end. But I know that won't work for me.

Another said 'find all the information for free on the internet' and/or join up at the local gym. I know that won't work either.

I need to make a sustainable lifestyle change (and going to the gym isn't it.)

I know I need to be accountable to something for my action. I figure if I invest money, I will seek a return on that investment.

So yesterday I thought "stuff it" - and I signed up to the 12WBT. (Round 3).

I'm not going to tell the husband. Not directly. WHEN it works, this time, then he can acknowledge that it was worth every cent.

I'm already excited by what I should get out of this - and I'm looking forward to sharing the ups and downs with others who are blogging about their own challenges.

Right now - time to get off the computer chair, and into action.