Monday, September 6, 2010

COMMITMENT

Preseason task #5 was to write out our 'handshake' - our commitment to this. This is what I posted:

My commitment is this: to lose 10kg in 6 months and fit back into all those clothes I’ve grown out of. (And buy myself some new ones to celebrate.)  I am committed 120%! to this program.

I WILL make exercising everyday a habit, and I WILL change my eating habits so that I don’t mind-talk my way into sabotaging myself.


I have already told some friends on the weekend - and I will tell my three daughters. But for now, no, I am not telling my husband, because his nagging in the past has only added fuel to my ‘it’s not fair - why should I have to NOT eat/drink what I like’ resentment/self-sabotaging mind talk.  WHEN he notices the difference in me, THEN I will tell him.


My commitment was sealed when I took out my credit card and signed up to this without telling him. Trust me.
 I am going to prove to him that I can do it, and that it was worth every damn cent.

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My preseason exercise build-up isn't ideal with this bloody leg, but I am getting there. I did some walking over the weekend! (As well as being on my feet manning the netball canteen for 4 hours- that must count for something, right?)

Saturday morning's little jaunt wasn't exactly planned. Ms 17 was supposed to be doing the paper run, but at 7.15 she came upstairs to us crying.  It has been a tough week - a girl who had been in her year at school (till earlier this year) was killed in a car accident on Wednesday night.  Their whole year was in shock, but she'd been fairly stoic, I think, until the girl's picture on the front of the local paper she was delivering just completely unravelled her. Ms 11 and I got up and did it for her.

It has been a very sobering few days.

I still couldn't walk completely normally - and my hip started to hurt, even though it was barely half an hour of walking. Probably lugging a heavy golf buggy with papers wasn't ideal. Still... some stretching helped. Later in the afternoon I took the neighbour's dog - who we are looking after for a few days - round the block. (Her pulling on the leash isn't ideal either).  The back of my knee was doing this slightly weird clicky thing - so I didn't push that too long either. But when I went to bed on Saturday night, my legs felt sore all over- that 'worked muscle' sore - in my hamstrings and quads even. So I guess that is all positive.

I walked Tess the dog again yesterday afternoon (and this time no clicking, and the hip behaved.) Again not far, but I'm taking this cautiously.

I swam again on Friday night, and did nearly all the program, even though I did freestyle instead of any drills. I did maybe 1/3 with a pool buoy.  Mostly it was my shoulder that hurt! (another saga with this wretched body of mine) - but I pushed through that, and afterwards, and all weekend, it hasn't troubled me like it did most of last week. Go figure!

Back in the pool this afternoon - I'll be going three times a week till the end of term. I don't know how long it will be before I can kick properly... but whatever I'm doing has got to help.

I will take Miss Tess for another walk this morning, and tomorrow I will pull out the bike and see how I go on the flat. I am dying to get back onto the tandem so we can do our Saturday morning ride.

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I have been pretty damned good with the eating...  Well ok... pretty damned good in that it's a big change from what I have been doing. Perhaps it's still not quite enough - I can feel the old 'negotiations' coming into play, where I tell myself that 'one bite' , or 'just one third of a glass of wine' is ok, because 'otherwise I will get the shits and fall off the wagon'.

I am sure that the program, once it starts for real, will put me right on that score. Meanwhile, I have made HUGE changes to the good.

My commitment for this week is: No wine at all. No coke (not that I have had any since I started.) No butter. Until I am in receipt of further advice to the contrary.


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