Saturday, September 11, 2010

DILEMMAS and DECISIONS

I'm really starting to wonder about this whole idea of telling people that I'm starting this 12WBT to lose weight. It seems to open the floodgates for people to start suggesting all these other diet theories.  Hang about people! I'm already signed up to a particular program, ok! So don't start telling me about the Liver Cleansing Diet... (and to eat more protein, and... and... and.....!) I'm going to be going with this one. Basically healthy eating (right Michelle?) - with the exercise program.  For now!

*sighs*

Mind you... seems I don't have to even announce my intentions verbally. This morning Himself and I decided to give my leg a test ride - and we rode the tandem into town to meet up with the Community Ride riders. (The Coffs Coast Community ride goes from 6.30-8am - but lately rather than drive in for that we've been riding the 23km in instead, and joining everyone for coffee at 8.00.. Then riding home again!  We have been known to ride in for 6.30, ride another 30-40km in the community ride, then ride home, but then I'm a zombie for the rest of Saturday!)

I always get a coffee. And we have always ordered something to eat; my body needs fuel to ride another 23km thanks. Rather than something sweet, I often get a fried egg on toast. Or a BLAT.  I know, I know!  Excess to requirements. And not a great choice.  So today I took a banana with me, and I nicked away and bought a multigrain bread roll from a bakery.

I've done this before, on one of my unsuccessful bids to eat better. And noone has ever commented. But today, as I sat back down with the roll and banana,  a friend noticed and, at the top of her voice, called out "Trace! What's that? Did you BYO breakfast?!"

Oh gee, is it that out of character?

It wasn't something I particularly wanted to advertise to the outdoor cafe people. Nor to everyone else!

"I'm just trying to eat healthier to lose weight." I told her quietly.

But then she came and sat down and wanted to know all about it. And how long I'd been doing it. ("About a week, says Himself." - *snorts* - like he'd know!)

Given that this wasn't the place to enlighten him as to what I've invested in this, this time, I couldn't expand on what it was all about. So I got yet more "advice".

*sighs*


I've had a couple of other dilemmas too.

I've reluctantly agreed to go with Himself to a work 'thing' next Saturday night. A local 'business awards' night. It is honestly the last thing in the world I feel like doing - but every year we say 'no thanks' to his boss, and Himself was starting to feel guilty at not representing the company.

Thing is, I'm just not a 'dressing up to go out' kind of person - and I've become increasingly more averse to it over the years. I've gone right off makeup, and I don't have any fancy clothes to wear out. (Anything remotely suitable that I might have had in my wardrobe now doesn't fit.)  And don't start me on my inability to wear heels. I have a pair of black sandals, with the lowest heel I could possibly get away with, and they will half cripple me by the end of the night AND I will be so self conscious about how godawful my ankles look in sandals.

I'd thought I might get by on black pants and something on top. But now I've found out that the dress code is 'cocktail'.

Noooooooo!

Basically, I don't have anything suitable, and the timing for buying something 'nice' to have in my wardrobe is so wrong!  Daughter's Yr 12 formal is coming up, but that's in late October. I plan to have lost a few kilos by then!   I don't want to spend money on something now that I fully intend to be too big for me in 6 weeks time.

Here I am concerned about having spent $200 on this program. And going through all this angst about whether to splurge on a Wii Fit.  Or even gym membership.


And now I have to go out and waste money on clothes that I will be unlikely to wear again!

I had to tell Himself  I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT.  But I can tell he doesn't put much store in that supposed resolve, which I can hardly blame him for, as I've been fiffing and faffing around about needing to lose weight for the past 10 years, but kept sabotaging myself. And putting weight on instead.

He wants Ms 17 to drag me into the shops this week to be my 'fashion consultant'.

I really wasn't planning on telling him just yet - not till we started properly and he could see the proof - in my actions, and in results.

*sighs*

Last dilemma (but at least partially resolved) was with whether to go against the Physio's advice and ride today. I did.  And while the calf twinged a bit - and Himself had to do a bit more work 'carrying' me on the tandem - a few hours later, it feels pretty good, and I'm feeling great to have done a pretty decent 46km workout today.

The next question is whether I'll be right to do a 75km ride (Coffs Coast Cycle Challenge) Sunday next week. Given that ordinarily riding 75km wouldn't be that much out of the ordinary for us, with the question over my leg, it will be a challenge.

Life just wasn't meant to be easy, was it?! ;)

4 comments:

  1. Hmm - do you want to actually go to this evening or can he go on his own??
    Can you find something 2nd hand?
    Bugger the heels issue, there are lots of people who don't wear heels out there, wear something comfortable that looks okay
    And if you're going to feel confident and comfortable in black pants and a top, wear them, a little white lie about having to come straight from another even if anyone asks!!
    There will always be people with lots of ideas and opinions, i would be nodding and ah in return with mentally having fingers in my ears zoning them out!
    They all are experts out there, especially the stick thin ones who whinge about how much excess weight they are carrying (they obviously want to be a size 0) and they can also eat whatever they want whenever so have no idea what it is like for the average person and should learn to not express their opinions cause we don't care

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  2. I can't back out of this evening now:( It's all couples going. Never wanted to go (he doesn't much want to either), just feel obliged.
    Not much of a secondhand shopper - perhaps I should try. Perhaps I should buy *something* and then buy a Wii fit bundle as well. :D

    Workin' on my nodding!

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  3. LOL yes soon as you mention it everyone remembers all your previous failed attempts and every crash diet they and you have been on before. It is hard. You have gotten it halfway beat with the amount of exercise you do though.

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  4. Kat, you're right, I am lucky in that I'm not daunted by exercise per se. All I have to do is make it a habit. Plus I have a sceptical husband here who has seen me 'talking' about how I 'should lose weight' for 10 years - and then sabotaging myself each time.
    I'm also lucky in that, in the scheme of things, I don't have that much to lose... The thing I think we all share is getting a handle on the psychology of it all.

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