Thursday, September 2, 2010

OBSERVATIONS

I'm 48. And despite my relatively active life, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. This makes me bloody depressed.

Sure, I could be worse, I admit, but the clothes don't lie. (The lack of clothes that fit don't lie.) I can't decide which is worse - looking in the mirror, or seeing photos of myself. Or how I don't feel remotely attractive or (dare I say it?) sexy.

SO!

Even though I once successfully lost weight through seeing a nutritionist 11 years ago, before my third/last pregnancy.. (well technically third and a half pregnancy....) and theoretically I should know what to do, I don't have the willpower or self discipline to do it.

I am a comfort eater, and a first class procrastinator.

I need the proverbial kick in the pants/support/advice... call it what you will.

And I won't get this from my husband. He just thinks it's a matter of willpower. Cut out eating rubbish lunches and cut back to just lite beer, as he's done in the past - easy peasy. Apparently.

I know if I tell him I'm I want to spend money via this online program that's kind of associated with the Biggest Loser, he'd try to talk me out of it.

I actually mulled it over openly on Facebook. One friend suggested putting $200 in an account and rewarding myself in the end. But I know that won't work for me.

Another said 'find all the information for free on the internet' and/or join up at the local gym. I know that won't work either.

I need to make a sustainable lifestyle change (and going to the gym isn't it.)

I know I need to be accountable to something for my action. I figure if I invest money, I will seek a return on that investment.

So yesterday I thought "stuff it" - and I signed up to the 12WBT. (Round 3).

I'm not going to tell the husband. Not directly. WHEN it works, this time, then he can acknowledge that it was worth every cent.

I'm already excited by what I should get out of this - and I'm looking forward to sharing the ups and downs with others who are blogging about their own challenges.

Right now - time to get off the computer chair, and into action.

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